Broadway Bares 19

Went to a party at Splash last night for the unveiling of this year's theme: CLICK IT! Internet hook-ups and sexy social networking.

Donate...attend...support.

P.S. You read it here first months ago...

Even more sub-lebrity spying

S. EPATHA MERKERSON. C train downtown. Reading "Women's Health." Sure, she's on some popular cop show, but she'll always be Reba The Mail Lady from Pee-Wee's Playhouse to me...

80s heartthrob siting!

John Hughes' movie fixture ANDREW McCARTHY. Yesterday. Rode the elevator with me in my Chinatown office building. Got off on the 7th floor...mebbe he had an interview with the Tribeca Tribune. An outer-circle Brat-Packer...still looks like he has a thyroid condition...

The Real Housewives of Henry VIII

Y'all KNOW how much I love the Bravo Network (Watch What Happens!), so I plug them at every opportunity.

Tomorrow night, 9pm ET, doe-eyed dreamboat Andy Cohen hosts the gold-plated gals of Orange County's Reunion Special. The 'wives of Atlanta are good for a giggle, the Manhattan mamas at least have a few brains between them, but those menopausal miscreants of California truly deserve a public flogging. Absentee mothers, money-grubbing spouses, conspicuously unreciprocating consumers...that's the sum-up. Here's the long-form laceration, straight from The New York Times.

More subway spycam!

KEITH CARRADINE, on the E train. Reading a script and mouthing lines. Yes, John's son and "Kung Fu" David's brother. Did you know in 1976 he won an Oscar and Golden Globe for the song "I'm Easy" from "Nashville"? He's got 3 new movies slated for release: Happy Together, Peacock and Winter Of Frozen Dreams.

Trailer Park

The Big O

Felt TOTALLY plugged in yesterday, watching the inauguration on TV while participating in Facebook Live Feed discourse on my Powerbook.

Highlights: CHENEY in the wheelchair (how ELSE should a lame duck travel?), MRS. BIDEN's miniskirt and go-go boots, A-SCREECH-A FRANKLIN's satellite dish millenary, our CHIEF JUSTICE forgetting his one paragraph, and that snooze-worthy instrumental intermission.

Photo above from my friend CERELLE CENTANO, a first-hand witness to the historic and 8-years-overdue swearing-in.

Renay of light

LIZ RENAY...exotic dancer...authoress ("My Face For The World To See")...actress (Muffy St. Jacques in John Waters' 1977 Desperate Living)...and ARTIST. Sadly she climbed that big stripper pole to the sky in 2007, but go see her paintings, along with wigs, costumes and sundry personal effects, on display all month at the Deitch NYC...

RIP Jett Travolta

Tragically, JETT TRAVOLTA, 16-year-old son of JOHN TRAVOLTA and KELLY PRESTON, passed away Friday while the family was vacationing in the Bahamas. He apparently struck his head in the bathroom after suffering the last in a series of seizures endured since childhood.

Travolta and Preston refuted a rumored diagnosis of autism, instead claiming Jett contracted Kawasaki Syndrome at the age of 2, a disorder affecting arteries. Bizarrely, on Larry King Live in 2001, Grease and Hairspray star Travolta claimed "obsessive carpet and house cleaning" may have been responsible for the onset of his son's condition 14 years ago.
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RealiTV sighting!

UTTERLY WORSHIP CHRIS MARCH, Project Runway's Season 4 flabulous fashionista. I was SO excited to see her in line at the Duane Reade on 49th and 9th NYC, just 2 hours ago. Too shy to ask for a picture (easy on those bags of Doritos, grrrl).
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I drank the Facebook Kool-Aid.

Took my first sip back in April when I signed up. I though, eh, yet ANOTHER social networking site that takes time away from LIVE interaction with friends, co-workers and family. My employer even developed an application to reach subscribers in their Facebook inboxes...still wasn't paying attention.

About three weeks ago, decided to dive in. OMFG. If it hasn't already, it's rendering Friendster, MySpace, Flickr and Twitter obsolete...it combines the best features of all four and then some. I've reconnected with kids from GRAMMAR school. Everyone in creation is on this site. Schoolmates. Exes. Celebrities. It cuts through and across community and geographic strata with frightening alacrity.

It's all about the Friends' list. Who's on it? How many you got? 50? That's nothing. NYC party promoter SUZANNE BARTSCH has 1406! Oooh, someone sent me a Friend request! I am wanted! I am validated! I am loved!

Facebook gives you a million reasons to log in and STAY logged in. Search for Friends. Join groups. Post videos from YouTube. Add photo albums. Become a fan of authors, movie stars, a beloved cause (or start your own). Comment on your Friends' postings. See who THEIR Friends are. INSANELY addictive. IM Friends online. Email (only those in the FB family...and with no "attachment" option).

Gotta get back to Facebookland, experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Rumor has it that this currently-free service will start charging for use next year...I don't believe it. They're already monetizing their content nicely with paid behaviorally-targeted ads.
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Plasma Screenings

I dig supernatural cinema, from NIALL MACGINNIS' sinister turn in Curse Of The Demon and DEBORAH KERR in The Innocents, to POLANSKI's Ninth Gate and The Covenant's boy-candy band. Vampire films make up a good chunk of this genre, and there've been teeth-sinkers...alongside real stinkers.

I know it's sacrilege, but campy LEE and LUGOSI scrape the bottom of my talent list, with their corny capes and unprotected crypts. Dracula's been around for hundreds of years...wise up! Blend in! Hide your coffins in 100 different places, you un-deadheads! Even Blacula leaves these two in the mummy dust.

Which is why I favor post-60s bloodsucking flicks. 1979's Dracula, with KATE NELLIGAN as Lucy and SIR LAWRENCE OLIVIER as the convincingly-accented Van Helsing, is a stellar incarnation of Stoker's classic, eerily scored by JOHN WILLIAMS. FRANK LANGELLA deftly interprets the king of the nosferatu, flawlessly elevating his mannered stage performance to the screen. Those lips, those eyes, and a voice that betrays its origin in deepest brimstone. Could have done without the bat-on-strings.

Fast-forward eight years: night-stalking meets West Hollywood. SCHUMACHER's Lost Boys put a stake in the period pieces of yore, giving a KIEFER SUTHERLAND-led pack of teen plasma pirates an 80s makeover: rock-star biker gear, product-propelled hair and a hip storyline carried by romantic leads Square Peg JAMIE GERTZ and pre-Speed 2 JASON PATRICK. I was one of the first 100 in line opening night at Orange, Connecticut's Showcase Cinemas, so I nabbed a free poster. Which I promptly framed; hangs in my hallway to this day..."Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire."

OLDMAN's 1992 Dracula sucked...WINONA, please shoplift some acting lessons. TARANTINO's 1996 From Dusk Til Dawn was enjoyable, if a little heavy on the Romero make-up. And SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR's Buffy TV series admirably carried the baton through 2003.

I'd much rather talk about this year's "Lost Boys 2: The Tribe" (trailer above). Surprisingly entertaining, the reality-show double COREYS (HAIM and FELDMAN) return for the sequel to hysterical effect. Honors the original while standing on its own merits quite nicely. The music's bleeding edge, the Ring-inspired CGI palatable, and Kiefer's half-brother, ANGUS, steps into his sibling's leather as leader-of-the-Drac-pack Shane Powers. Thirteen times better than recently-released and inexplicably-ballyhooed "Twilight," which I've already eviscerated. Can't wait for LB3.
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Britney, Spare Us

Did anyone believe that even one microsecond of MTV's recent documentally-re-TART-ted "Britney: For The Record" was candid and unscripted? OH YES! NOW I feel I know the TRUE Britney, the whole story, the unvarnished behind-the-scenes truth. Pleeze.

And how bout MADONNA's cameo-no? Her vampiric attachment to Spears' spotlight and youth is embarrassingly transparent.

But I give it up to B. Jane, cuz her "Womanizer" single is killah..."Toxic" 2008.
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Trading In Uranus For A Saturn

So rumor has it that MICHAEL CARBONARO, lead homo in 2006's Another Gay Movie, refused-slash-was advised by his management team NOT to appear in the 2008 follow-up, Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild!, due to the possibility of being pigeonholed in gay indie roles the rest of his career. Let's see, does 2007's straight-to-DVDumpster "I Was A Creature From Outer Space" count as a mainstream blockbuster? And how about the latest Saturn car commercials (below), where Michael appears as a bewildered shopper? With a deep, "macho" voice that's either dubbed or affected? GLAAD and Commercial Closet, take note.
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Bravo to Housewives!

To quote goddess KATHY GRIFFIN, lemme walk ya through this.

Bravo TV's Real Housewives series. Orange County's first and still best...the California girls will thank-gosh be back for a FOURTH season Tuesday, November 25...can't wait to reconnect with once-twice-three-times-a-lady Jeana and pig-nosed Vicki.

New York. Completely forgettable.

Atlanta. NENE rules. Sure, she's made a few unkind comments about her gal-pals behind their backs, but so what? She's good-natured, good for a laugh and good TV. SHEREE? Arrogant, manipulative, predictable villainy. A FASHION DESIGNER? Milan, NY, Paris? Is She on the fer-real? Is that why Shereevil needs a 7-figure divorce settlement, to fuel her fame fantasy? And Katastrophic KIM...no singing voice, no more Big Papa, and no clue how much she's been played by Sheree. What a role model for her kids...an aging, bloated, delusional, booze-swilling, cigarette-puffing trashcan. Sexy! Shoulda stuck with NeNe, Kay-Kay. Can't wait for the reunion special, next Tuesday, 9pm ET...here's a taste.
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Magic Wanda

Psyched for Ms. WANDA SYKES, a par excellence character actress/comedienne in the hallowed tradition of MARY WICKES and EVE ARDEN. Omnipresent, acerbic, with tick-tock timing, Wanda's now out and proud! And LOUD (as we all should be) against Californication's Proposition 8 ban on gay marriage initiative that was just passed. I forget about the red-state-necks that fill the cultural voids between San Diego, LA and San Francisco.

Don't ever miss a performance with Wanda's name attached to it. Rent her star turns in LARRY DAVID's HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm and Monster-In-Law, shoulder-to-shoulder with LOPEZ and FONDA.


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Overheard at Soho House NYC last night...

Cocktail chatter, direct from the 6th floor of Meatpacking's members-only menagerie: tipsy Tudor JONATHAN RHYS MEYER is the new spokesmodel for Energy! Don't ask me what Energy is...a drink? A cologne? A product akin to VIP in "Lover Come Back"? Regardless, you heard it here first! Let's hope there's no relapse-rehab morality clause in his contract...

P.S: Two floors below the bar, PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN was holding court in the screening room alongside gal-pal GLENN CLOSE.
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All Ovah Down Undah

AUSTRALIA! Kidman! Jackman! Oh man!

I was a Baz Luhrmann devotee as far back as 1992's Strictly Ballroom (whatever happened to Paul Mercurio?) And of course saw Moulin Rouge a dozen times. And La Boheme at the Curran in San Francisco.

Here's a trailer, hits theaters November 26...

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Barack Star

Still glued to CNN, two hours after President-Elect Obama's address.

Nothing like a winner to bring out celebrity hangers-on. The A-listers were all about the B tonight. Seminally visible supporters of our 44th were of course in da house at Chicago's Grant Park (Brad Pitt biking below with his Obama binder, future ambassador Oprah), plus incessant publicity hogs Spike Lee, Jesse Jackson Jr., Diddy and Al Sharpton.

Sarah, strap on those Ugg boots as you begin your one-way march back to Wasilla and obscurity. Conde, I hear Henrietta Hudson's looking for happy-hour pianists. And Amy Holmes? Shame on you, don't expect Anderson Cooper or Bill Maher to be calling anytime soon.
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I screech for Leach!

Loooong before she bobbled her octogenarian bosoms on Dancing With The Stars, I was a Cloris Leachman fan. I have a signed 8x10 hanging in my Hallway of Fame. C'mon, the Mary Tyler Moore spin-off, "Phyllis?" (sing the theme with me, you know it: "Who lights the lamps of Chinatown, just by walking in view? Who? PHYLLIS!")

An Emmy and Golden Globe winner, Cloris is one of my perennially cherished character actresses. I'm pleased as punch she's finally getting her pop cultural due with a much-deserved second wind on network TV. Picking a quintessential video clip was tough, but Mel Brooks' 1977 High Anxiety won out. Nurse Diesel, take it away (RIP perpetually put-upon Harvey Korman):


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He-Bay

Zac Efron. High School Musical 3. Shower stills. Yes please.

According to E!Online, the actual pix are being auctioned on eBay, but I couldn't find 'em. So feel free to ogle below. Sorry, no pee-pee or hiney shots.


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The tagline of this site

"We don't repeat gossip...so listen close the first time." That's paraphrased from a skit on the old "Hee Haw" variety show, which my Grampa Gabe watched religiously, seemingly every night.



Johnny Cash, Roy Clark, Loretta Lynn, Chet Atkins...what more could a country boy ask for? A big "Howwwww-DEE!" and RIP to Ms. Minnie Pearl...
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