Saturday, December 20, 2008

RealiTV sighting!

UTTERLY WORSHIP CHRIS MARCH, Project Runway's Season 4 flabulous fashionista. I was SO excited to see her in line at the Duane Reade on 49th and 9th NYC, just 2 hours ago. Too shy to ask for a picture (easy on those bags of Doritos, grrrl).
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NutriSystem, Inc.

Friday, December 19, 2008

I drank the Facebook Kool-Aid.

Took my first sip back in April when I signed up. I though, eh, yet ANOTHER social networking site that takes time away from LIVE interaction with friends, co-workers and family. My employer even developed an application to reach subscribers in their Facebook inboxes...still wasn't paying attention.

About three weeks ago, decided to dive in. OMFG. If it hasn't already, it's rendering Friendster, MySpace, Flickr and Twitter obsolete...it combines the best features of all four and then some. I've reconnected with kids from GRAMMAR school. Everyone in creation is on this site. Schoolmates. Exes. Celebrities. It cuts through and across community and geographic strata with frightening alacrity.

It's all about the Friends' list. Who's on it? How many you got? 50? That's nothing. NYC party promoter SUZANNE BARTSCH has 1406! Oooh, someone sent me a Friend request! I am wanted! I am validated! I am loved!

Facebook gives you a million reasons to log in and STAY logged in. Search for Friends. Join groups. Post videos from YouTube. Add photo albums. Become a fan of authors, movie stars, a beloved cause (or start your own). Comment on your Friends' postings. See who THEIR Friends are. INSANELY addictive. IM Friends online. Email (only those in the FB family...and with no "attachment" option).

Gotta get back to Facebookland, experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Rumor has it that this currently-free service will start charging for use next year...I don't believe it. They're already monetizing their content nicely with paid behaviorally-targeted ads.
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UNIQLO

Friday, December 12, 2008

Plasma Screenings



I dig supernatural cinema, from NIALL MACGINNIS' sinister turn in Curse Of The Demon and DEBORAH KERR in The Innocents, to POLANSKI's Ninth Gate and The Covenant's boy-candy band. Vampire films make up a good chunk of this genre, and there've been teeth-sinkers...alongside real stinkers.

I know it's sacrilege, but campy LEE and LUGOSI scrape the bottom of my talent list, with their corny capes and unprotected crypts. Dracula's been around for hundreds of years...wise up! Blend in! Hide your coffins in 100 different places, you un-deadheads! Even Blacula leaves these two in the mummy dust.

Which is why I favor post-60s bloodsucking flicks. 1979's Dracula, with KATE NELLIGAN as Lucy and SIR LAWRENCE OLIVIER as the convincingly-accented Van Helsing, is a stellar incarnation of Stoker's classic, eerily scored by JOHN WILLIAMS. FRANK LANGELLA deftly interprets the king of the nosferatu, flawlessly elevating his mannered stage performance to the screen. Those lips, those eyes, and a voice that betrays its origin in deepest brimstone. Could have done without the bat-on-strings.

Fast-forward eight years: night-stalking meets West Hollywood. SCHUMACHER's Lost Boys put a stake in the period pieces of yore, giving a KIEFER SUTHERLAND-led pack of teen plasma pirates an 80s makeover: rock-star biker gear, product-propelled hair and a hip storyline carried by romantic leads Square Peg JAMIE GERTZ and pre-Speed 2 JASON PATRICK. I was one of the first 100 in line opening night at Orange, Connecticut's Showcase Cinemas, so I nabbed a free poster. Which I promptly framed; hangs in my hallway to this day..."Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire."

OLDMAN's 1992 Dracula sucked...WINONA, please shoplift some acting lessons. TARANTINO's 1996 From Dusk Til Dawn was enjoyable, if a little heavy on the Romero make-up. And SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR's Buffy TV series admirably carried the baton through 2003.

I'd much rather talk about this year's "Lost Boys 2: The Tribe" (trailer above). Surprisingly entertaining, the reality-show double COREYS (HAIM and FELDMAN) return for the sequel to hysterical effect. Honors the original while standing on its own merits quite nicely. The music's bleeding edge, the Ring-inspired CGI palatable, and Kiefer's half-brother, ANGUS, steps into his sibling's leather as leader-of-the-Drac-pack Shane Powers. Thirteen times better than recently-released and inexplicably-ballyhooed "Twilight," which I've already eviscerated. Can't wait for LB3.
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Netflix, Inc.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Britney, Spare Us

Did anyone believe that even one microsecond of MTV's recent documentally-re-TART-ted "Britney: For The Record" was candid and unscripted? OH YES! NOW I feel I know the TRUE Britney, the whole story, the unvarnished behind-the-scenes truth. Pleeze.

And how bout MADONNA's cameo-no? Her vampiric attachment to Spears' spotlight and youth is embarrassingly transparent.

But I give it up to B. Jane, cuz her "Womanizer" single is killah..."Toxic" 2008.
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3 Months for the Price of 1